When enough is enough

Well if you read my last post, you know I’ve really been struggling with my running as of late. Dealing with injury always weighs heavily when a runner tries to make a comeback.

It turns out that my stress in life may not be the only factor playing a role on my horrid running performance as of late.

I’m going to save you the sob story and just tell you I have finally broke down and gone in to see a medical professional and had lots and LOTS of blood drawn. The final straw was me having to call in sick this weekend to work and then being sent home because I was borderline delirious the day I actually drug myself there.

I’m in a constant brain fog, very weak, have no energy, headaches, my hair is falling out, I’m in extreme pain in several of my limbs, my legs are chronically freezing despite summer temps, I’m over-heating within a few minutes of every run, I’m having night sweats, and I could literally sleep for days and days and days, I’ve had an 8-9 lb unexplained weight gain in the last 5 months, I can’t comprehend or concentrate on things, etc etc.

It’s time to stop avoiding the obvious. Something is wrong. After multiple discussions with friends in my life who are either Nurse practitioners, PAs or MDs, I got my butt in and had huge vials of my blood drawn this morning to get some answers.

I’m praying this is my thyroid.

Yes. I can’t believe I’m saying that, but it’s true. If it isn’t, then we’re about to embark upon a crazy train of a medical mystery that I’m not uber pumped about. Some of my blood work is coming back already and it’s not necessarily indicating anemia, so that’s good.

TSH will be back sometime later this week.

Thankfully I have found a PA who freaking LISTENS TO ME. She understood my concerns, talked to me thoroughly about my life as a runner, mother, etc.

After much discussion, I am pulling myself out of my plans to run a half marathon this October. I have got to get my crap together physically, mentally, etc before I take on a longer distance. I’m tired of running injuries. I’m tired of constantly feeling sick. I’m not going to give up entirely on working out and keeping up my cardio, but I’m removing a goal that shouldn’t be there, simply because I know if I don’t get through it without a single problem, I’ll be pissed. This is not worth it. I know who I am and I know that this has to be done; even though it kills me to say this.

Will I start running again once I get a handle on whatever this is? You bet. Will it be for a half marathon in 3 months? No.

I’ve done 4 this past year. Time to chill.

Not gonna lie, though, it pains me simply because I’m not going to be able to keep up with a lot of my friends, I’m not going to be present at a lot of their fun events, I feel like I’m going to slip away. I don’t know what else to do. It sucks being the one sitting on the sidelines watching others do the very thing you’re unbelievably passionate about.

I’m tired of being on the sidelines…A LOT.

I’m done. I’m getting this taken care of. I’m fixing my focus. I’m re-training my body. I’m gonna focus HARD on strengthening my dumb core. As soon as I am able, and my body no longer feels like I got run over by a semi, I’m going to cross train.

Enough is enough.

EnoughTitle

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3 Responses to When enough is enough

  1. Gigi says:

    I am so sorry you are feeling so bad…..I am not a doctor but I have been living with thyroid issues since I was 15….i am just about to be 40 ….. and all of those symptoms I have dealt with and have gotten past through treatment and meds. So hopefully it is something as “simple” Good luck!!!

  2. Jeannie Zuck says:

    Hang in there. You did the right thing. I’ve been side-lined by injuries (3 mos, 6 mos) and it can be hard. Your real friends will still want to see you…AND I hate to say it, but it can be very reward to help at races. I know it may seem horrible, but it can be enjoyable. Every time I came back to running I was stronger and faster (after a while). You will appreciate things more. Please keep us updated. You are an excellent writer. Remember that while you are a “runner” that is NOT all you are!!!

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