and that’s clearly a good sign!

My hubby, bless his soul, puts up with me and just continually nods his head and mutters the occasional “mmmhmmm” as I tend to go on for HOURS about running and training when I’m fired up. There’s been several moment this past week where I’m rambling on and on and on about all my plans and excitement towards this new outlook and new year.

There’s not been much talk of running or training in months around here (read: ever since I lived all of summer in a walking boot). I’ve run 2, albeit rather successful half marathons considering I didn’t train for either of them, since my stupid injury. This year I plan on actually running half marathons fully trained! Imagine that! I haven’t been trained for any sort of race since May of last year with my first half. I’m looking forward to actually getting my act together again and going for it; only this time with a much better outlook.

I spoke about it on my FB page that I’m challenging myself in a different way this year. I have joined a local running group that will start-up here in a couple of months (we’re having our first coffee get-together in a few weeks). I’m terrified of the idea of running with others as I’m scared out of my mind that I’m going to slow everyone down. It has to be done, though.

A lot of my problems as a runner stem from me having waaaay too much time to think on my hands while I’m out there. I obsess over prior injuries. I put myself down so badly because I am not running nearly at the speed I once was (totally over-trained and running poorly, I might add).  PRs loom in my mind, and with the exception of my current 1/2 marathon PR time, they all were done inappropriately and caused injury. So what in the world is the point of having times you try to live up to if they weren’t done properly in the first place? Ya know?

My whole outlook is different. I train when my body allows me. I don’t obsess over every single ache and pain my body throws at me. I will NOT allow myself to go to the “worst case scenario” every single time. I will not allow my old injuries to control me. And should something come about, I will not let it destroy my very being.

I have picked at least 10 races for this year. 8 of those are going to be for experience and 2 of those are going to be actually “raced” to the best of my ability. I’ve done a lot of races each year in the past, and that’s great, but it’s not great when every single race is held to a standard of prior PR times. Sometimes it’s just about running with other people and having fun; or at least that’s what I’d like it to be. If I run a really great race and manage to surprise myself, that’s awesome. If not, I’m going to be thankful for the opportunity that I was given to hang out with others passionate about the sport and feel blessed to be on two feet doing what I love.

I’m also praying God just drops a serious training partner in my lap at some point. While I’m excited about the idea of doing group runs, I really need an in-person consistent training partner who will push me to really keep up this attitude adjustment, will do drills with me, etc to really get going on all-around improvement. If it doesn’t happen, that’s OK, but I’m definitely going to push myself out of my comfort zone should the opportunity present itself.

2013 is going to be MY YEAR as a runner. I will not measure my success by comparing myself to past times or others, but rather how I proceed from here as a new person. I’m almost 1 month into it, and I’m glad my total mental break down happened during the Disney World Half, as it led me to this realization. Every experience we have out there on the road, treadmill, wherever is meant for us to learn something.