Now that I’m done with my last half marathon, I was finally able to take out my new beauties on the road for a few test runs. This morning they went out for 5.5 miles, and if it were possible to marry a pair of shoes….well…sign me up!
Unfortunately, I’m having a tough go of it coming back after the half marathon. I’ve only run 2 times since then, both around 5+ miles, and it’s like you would think the world was coming to an end in my brain out there. I just CANNOT get moving. My legs feel so heavy at times. I think that I’m busting out some insane crazy fast pace, only to glance at the Garmin and see 10:20+. Cardio-wise I feel like I’m sucking wind. It’s poop-tastic.
Fortunately I have been through this before, and remember all too well after Fargo in May, it took me a solid 2 weeks to feel like myself again. I also have to remember that my speed is nowhere near where it was back in the end of June prior to diagnosis. I was all set to PR my 5K the first week of July (had my first DNS) and now it’s all about distance, so clearly things aren’t going to feel/be the same. Um…hello? I’ve barely run at all since then. So I’m not sure why, when I get out there on the road, I’m expecting astounding results. It’s like this inner war in my brain that sounds something like this…
Evil Coco: “Hey there. You just ran your second half marathon. You’re already sucking wind at mile 2 of 5? LOSER! How did you even survive last weekend?”
Realistic Coco: “Courtenay. Don’t be ridiculous. You clearly are dealing with some natural fatigue. You ran a half marathon totally untrained and it was a great run. Revel in it a bit longer and enjoy this pace.”
Evil Coco: “Nice ‘speed work,’ moron. 9:00 pace feels like death. A few months ago it was comfy. Say goodbye to ever having a PR again.”
Realistic Coco: “You cannot expect to be running at the same place you were 4 months ago. You have been through a lot. Because of your prior experience, coming back from this won’t be nearly as difficult as it would be starting completely over. You have this. Give yourself a break for a couple of weeks and you’ll be back before you know it.”
Be thankful you’re not my running coach who has to repeatedly talk me off these ledges a lot.
It’s ugly to be me sometimes.
It’s a 2-part battle playing out in my running life right now. There’s a battle of dealing with the idea of proper recovery post-race and the battle of re-defining what my baseline needs to be in order to avoid breaking my dumb tibia, and properly coming back and avoiding the boot at all costs again in my future.
How have you dealt with issues like this in the past? Please tell me I’m not the only one who fights inner battles like this out on the road.