Waving goodbye to 2012

So this Friday will be 5 weeks since I last did anything with my two feet above a slow walk or shuffle. Supposedly the course of treatment for my tibial stress reaction is 4-6 weeks. I am gonna be honest and tell ya’ll that I’m pretty sure, as per the usual in my life, I will not be the norm in this situation and it’s going to take longer.

This week I was told I could “test the waters” and start doing some elliptical, a bit more walking, and that was about it in addition to the insane amount of time I spend on a bike (86 miles last week on the stationary bike). I’ve been on the elliptical two times for a whopping total of 15 minutes each. Stepping onto that machine was VERY exciting. I know. I’m glorifying the elliptical. I will never take that form of exercise for granted again. For 15 minutes I just about cried. My heart was back to full-on pumping and I actually felt like I was being slightly more productive than spinning my legs in place going nowhere.

I also have walked a total of 2.6 miles between two different walk sessions. Both walks were borderline snooze-fests, but it was something different, so I’m going with it. Unfortunately the elliptical and the walking haven’t been entirely pain-free. My leg is still very much making its presence known. I’m not in dire pain or anything and it’s nothing that I can even really feel the following day, but I just know it’s there. It’s like my tibia is the neighbor across the street who waves to you as you bring the trash out.  How do ya like that analogy?

With that being said, I’m doing really well on allowing myself to actually process this situation and I’m still handling it in a way that I can feel good about.

Just gonna be completely honest with ya’ll and say that I’ve officially removed myself from racing the rest of 2012.

Yes. I just said that. It’s really nobody’s choice but my own, but I’m not planning on racing again until January 12th, 2013 when hopefully I’m toeing the line in Walt Disney World. Quite honestly the only reason I’m even planning on that one is because our trip is booked, the race is paid for, it’s our upcoming vacation and I might as well try.

What I have learned throughout this whole process is that I THOUGHT I was addicted to racing. I love the race atmosphere. I’ve done a ton of them. I love being surrounded by others who appreciate running the way I do. It’s motivation. Races push me to test my limits and my own personal boundaries and I always learn so much from doing them. However, I have come to realize it is not the end-all be-all for me. Nobody asked me what I was thinking in regards to my races on the calendar this year. Nobody even suggested that I start thinking about the alternative. I just up and removed them as even a possibility. They will not be happening. I’m very OK with that. There hasn’t been one tear shed or one regret since making that decision. I’m more comfortable with this decision than I am having the races written on my calendar.

There is no point to race if you’re in no condition to do so. From this point forward, I will be racing less and putting much more emphasis on putting forth racing goals when I’m actually ready, not when I hope to be ready.

I was highly excited about what 2012 had in store for me as a runner. While it’s not nearly as many races as I had planned, I am a half marathoner and I am growing more and more as an individual every single day for the time off that I’ve had. I’m big on personal growth and if this is what it takes to teach me a valuable life lesson, then I wouldn’t change a thing. It might just be nice if my bone didn’t have to hurt as much to teach it to me!

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4 Responses to Waving goodbye to 2012

  1. Kat says:

    I’m pumped to attempt a power-walk this Thursday. It’s wild really, how perspective changes. Keep on pushing, lady.

  2. Heidi Nicole says:

    You’re probably being smart and I commend you for that! But don’t give up the race atmosphere just because you aren’t racing…spectate! Especially if you know people racing! I honestly cannot wait until the Denver RnR – I’ve deemed myself the official spectator for a bunch of ladies I know running!

    Get better and keep on moving…just not too much!

  3. Congrats on an absolute amazing 2012!! You are a rockstar :]

    I have noticed my relationship with races has changed over the last couple of months as well. While I still enjoy racing. I do not feel the need to go race a couple of times a months. In fact I have noticed I kind of need to push myself to race. Strange! I still love everything that races bring. I also really enjoying just running and getting myself ready for races when I have a goal in mind.

    I would rather have a couple of big races in mind and work on training for those. Instead of just being a racing machine :]

  4. Pingback: If I could sit in front of the TV 24/7 for the next 2 weeks and survive, I would | I Swear My Legs are on Auto-Pilot…

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