I gotta be honest with ya’ll and tell you that it’s been 3 weeks since my last run and I’m feeling good about that.
Yeah. I know. I sound like a crazy pants.
I have been going, going, going, going, going for 2 years straight without stopping. Every single day of my life was 100% devoted to running and cross-training so that I can BE a better runner. I lived and breathed only to run or train.
Because I can’t do that, I’ve had time to actually get my head in the game of life and focus on other, much more important things. I’ve been SOOOOOOO busy this summer, that having one less stress factor on my plate with running has been really good for me. I think this injury, even though it makes me sad occasionally, is just what I needed to get me to re-prioritize my life.
My bestie, L-Jo, and I were talking the other day about how well I’ve been handling this whole situation. The old Courtenay, from a year ago, spent every single night and several times throughout every day bawling over my hip hurting. I was a total maniac towards everyone in my day-to-day life. I acted like someone had just driven a knife straight through my heart. Sure, I’ve had some bouts of disappointment these past few weeks, and I’ve been sad, but I have kept my head held high and approached life in a more realistic way than I ever have before.
I have only ever cried once and that was just a bad day when I had to answer a million people’s questions about my boot. I’d rather just not focus on it and move on. “Beauford” is hangin with me and ya’ll are just gonna have to get to know him a bit more.
Before I even had this MRI, I obviously knew there was something crazy bad going on with my leg. There’s a part of me that knew that for 2 months straight. I also knew that whatever that MRI showed, there wasn’t anything I could do to change it. I had to live in reality and focus on what I need to do to make sure it doesn’t happen again and learn from it. Why sit and dwell on what I could have done or should have done to prevent it? I didn’t do it and my body is letting me know.
The growth I have seen in myself over these past several months has been astonishing. I no longer completely fly off the handle at the slightest inconvenience. I am almost wondering if God gave me this speed bump just to prove to me how far I’ve come?
I see it in myself, but further proof came when I got the following text message from L-Jo last night:
“I am so proud of you for how this all has gone, friend. I have seen you go through a lot. You are a fighter and an inspiration for so many people. It has been humbling to see how you still have your head held high and are rocking whatever life throws at you…and that doesn’t apply to just running.”
It’s good friends like this who keep me going, who lift me up and who are my reason for fighting every day. I hope to truly be an example to others that adversity in life, while we WILL face it, does not have to be the thing that brings us down. I feel like I don’t even know that person I used to be anymore. I feel like it’s a person so foreign to me and that’s a wonderful thing.
I’m learning that it’s OK to be sad, but it is not OK to live in a world of anger and rage at a situation you have the power to change. None of us have the power to change our past, but we have the power to change our future in the present.