Like a lamb being led to the slaughter…

Have I ever told you about my kitty Sampson?

We adopted “Speedy” from the Animal Humane Society on 4/16/2010. Speedy, now Sampson, has been a wonderful addition to our “family of 3″ with me, the hubby and our shih tzu puppy, Murphy. But lemme tell ya…this cat is so naughty around here it’s INSANE.

Curiosity killed that cat? It’ll be a miracle if this cat makes it to his 3rd birthday.

First of all, I SWEAR he has evil intentions in life when it comes to everything. Look at his laser-beam eyes!

He’s incredibly moody and this is how he “loves us.”

He gets into EVERYTHING.

And he has a huge obsession with taking our gloves, socks, pens, pencils, hair binders, ace bandages, receipts, and apparently my ZENSAH COMPRESSION SLEEVES and throwing them in his water dish.

Almost every day Chris and I will find something floating in every water dish throughout the house.

Yesterday was no exception.

So Wednesday night I made the stupid mistake of taking off my new Zensah Compression Sleeves and leaving them on my bedside table overnight. See my cool sleeve and my adorable puppy dog?

Anyways…so that morning I get up to put my sleeves on before going out for the day and I find one of them missing. I knew right away that Sampson had stolen it. I was going bonkers on my cat. This wasn’t a pencil, a sock, a piece of paper or a glove I got for 50 cents. This was my Zensah sleeve I’d shelled out some $$$ for, my leg hurt, and I’ve got a race in t-minus 45 hours at that point.

I start yellin at him and running up and down the stairs checking all his water and food dishes. It’s nowhere. I start tearing up our bedroom closet and looking under the bed. Nope. So I go find Sampson and hold the other sleeve in front of his face and threaten “If you don’t show Mom (yes. I’m the weirdo that calls herself “mom” to her dog and cat. Shut.it.) where this other sleeve is, you can kiss your morning breakfast goodbye.” Of course my cat doesn’t know what the heck I’m saying to him. But I figured throwing the other sleeve in front of his face would “trigger his memory” and I was desperate enough to think he’d just bring it to me.

Nope. I leave the room and go search in the upstairs office. As I happen to turn around, I see him high-tailing it by the office door with my Zensah sleeve in his mouth. Like a lamb being led to the slaughter he was leading my sleeve straight to a “bath” in crummy cat water.  I chased him downstairs to his water dish. I managed to rip it out of his teeth before it got wet, but seriously?!?! Nothing is safe. I should know this.

Here’s what I discovered two weekends ago when I went to take a shower. Last night he found where we stash the packages of toilet paper, he opened the closet door (yep. He can open doors. No one is safe while sitting on the toilet), and proceeded to help himself to shredding loads of it again all over the place. I find shredded toilet paper in the oddest places in our house.

This is Sampson hiding from me a couple of weeks ago after freaking on him for destroying my precious foam roller with his teeth. Yep. I’m foam-rollerless right now.

And this is where he went after I found he’d thrown our TV remote into his water dish.

In all seriousness, though. I LOVE Sammy. Like I would do anything for both my cat and my dog. And I am happy we adopted him (he had a tough life before arriving to our house), but he just drives me up a wall sometimes! I thought having a puppy and training Murphy from the time he was just 9 weeks old was hard. No way. Murphy is a pure angel when it comes to comparing him to Sam.

But just so ya’ll don’t think I totally hate my cat. He can be insanely cute sometimes too. And out of the whopping total of 4 times in over a year he’s actually come and cuddled with me on the couch, I know he loves me too.

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3 Responses to Like a lamb being led to the slaughter…

  1. Hahaha! The picture of Sampson behind the curtain made me laugh out loud. Hahaha!

  2. Karen says:

    Sounds like typical “kids”. There are times I swear mine are out to ruin everything, but they are great and I wouldn’t trade them for anything!

  3. Kaitlin says:

    So I subscribe to your blog and read every new post, and this was by far the best one! It may be that I am partial to cats, or that it’s late here and I am uber tired and maybe a bit delirious, but you do have a very cute cat. Keep up the hard work and I’ll be rooting for you!

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